babiesI became a Christian when I was 18, well before I was to get married and had to think about having children. When I did, like many conservative protestants, I uncritically accepted birth control and the family planning mentality; I saw having children as something of a choice for Christians, not unlike my secular neighbors. A few times over the years this mindset was challenged, but certainly not from within the evangelical community. Our seriously orthodox Catholic brothers and sisters would point out that life is a gift from God, and that God’s gifts must not be lightly rejected. Yet evangelicals continue to have their 2.2 kids like most Americans, and never question whether their embrace of the modern cultural norm is at all biblical.

I was reminded of all this when I read a recent piece titled, “What We Lose With Only Two Children Per Family.” The author points that the just one less child per family causes a collapse in the extended families, aunts, uncles, a cousins, and why that is a bad thing.

A family tree with many branches functions as a broad social safety net: when average family size falls from three to two, there are only half as many aunts and uncles to lean on, visit, identify with, and support you when things go wrong and rejoice with you when things go right. When the average family size is one, there is little family left to protect you and to belong to. The modern fantasy—society as disconnected individuals under a tutelary state—becomes grimly plausible.

We can lay much of the blame of the anti-natal mentality of Western culture to the so called sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s, which has been a catastrophe for Western culture. The self-centered obsession with our own fulfillment that is the essence of that revolution has had profoundly horrible consequences. Not only have tens of millions of babies been killed before they ever had a chance to be born, but divorce, sexually transmitted disease, the breakdown of the family, loneliness, etc. have all proliferated in the wake of our supposed “liberation.” And all of this has affected inner city minority communities worse than everywhere else.

During those decades popular culture was awash with warnings of overpopulation, and the disasters that would follow if we didn’t stop having so many children. In fact now the opposite is the problem. Demographic decline in Europe and many Asian countries has governments worried because not enough children are being born to replace the population. Japan has an especially intractable problem in this regard. Some governments are even attempting to bribe couples into having more children, but children are not properly thought of as an economic calculation. Yet most Christians probably think of them that way.

One of the most profoundly counter cultural, God honoring things a married Christian couple can do is have lots of children. God tells us through the Psalmist, “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.” (127:3). Yes, there is no command in scripture that we must have children, or how many, but a simple reading between the lines tells us that co-creating life with God is a profound privilege that we ought not to lightly turn our backs on.

If we are to be truly pro-life wouldn’t having more children than the cultural norm be a good indication of that? I’ll confess that when I see Christian families with one or two kids I judge them, and it’s just not my place to do so. Of course I have no idea why they have the number of children they do, but the vast majority of Christians have accepted our anti-God, secular cultural norms for the size of our families. That alone gives me pause.

A final thought comes from my obsession with Christian cultural influence. In Western societies, secular liberal families have fewer children than religious families, be they Christian, Muslim, Jewish (religious not cultural Jews), probably Hindu as well, and we all know Mormons typically have large families. Some day if we want to turn the tide of Western and American culture away from its secular hostility to Christianity, we just have to out breed them! Of course it will take more of those Christians to be vitally engaged and employed in professions that have wide cultural influence, but having more of us around will certainly help.

A good resource to consider as you think through this, as you are hopefully inclined to do, is Pope Paul VI’s encyclical Humanae Vitae published in 1968, right in the face of the cultural tsunami unleashed by the sexual revolution.

 

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