I had an experience recently with a Christian young man who shall remain nameless, and it inspired a blog post. He looked me in the eye (which I respected) and told me that it’s okay for Christians to have sex before marriage. I was taken aback, and asked him why he thought this. He said, because the Bible doesn’t say you can’t, that’s why! I was embarrassed how poorly I answered his challenge. Most Christian young people wouldn’t say such a thing out loud, especially to someone considerably older than they are, and it had never happened to me. After all, surely young Christians know that sex before marriage is not okay, right? Even if they indulge in it? I guess not, so I wasn’t prepared. I’m going to flesh out a short response that includes “the Bible says so,” but goes beyond that. I don’t doubt there are many books on the broader topic of Christian sexuality, so I can only scratch the surface here.
There are two ways I approach this topic: what the New Testament says specifically (contrary to my young Christian friend), and the nature of first century Jewish-Christian culture.
1. A Bible word search shows that sexual immorality is an important topic of concern to the New Testament writers. The phrase is used 22 times, and you won’t be surprised that the Greek word translated for this English phrase is porneia-πορνεία, of course from which we get the word pornography. If you read through each verse you’ll see that there is absolutely no ambiguity as to it’s meaning. Sex is meant for marriage, and yes one man and one woman (sadly today that needs to be said). Look for instance at I Cor. 7:2:
But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
It would take major league casuistry to come to the conclusion this doesn’t mean that sex outside of marriage is sin. Another verse in I Corinthians that doesn’t use this phrase makes it very clear that sex is meant for marriage alone (I Cor. 7:9):
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Only the most obstinate, and deluded, person would claim to be a Christian and maintain that sex outside of marriage is okay. To that person I have nothing to say, but to the sincere young Christian I will say with firm biblical conviction, no it is not!
2. Next, compare the Jewish culture of first century Palestine to that of 21st century America, in this case specifically regarding sexual ethics, and what each believes is right or wrong about sex. We must understand to whom the New Testament writers were writing, and what the common, shared understanding was regarding sex and marriage. Needless to say, but obviously it needs to be said to young Christians today, the understanding of what was right, and proper, and good was absolutely nothing like it is today. There are no analogies, like night and day, fire and water, that could adequately capture the total difference in how a first century Jew looked at sex, and a 21st century American might. Once the tsunami of the 1960s sexual revolution tore it’s way through the culture, any biblical connection between our secular culture’s understanding of sex and the Bible’s was irrevocably severed.
To first century Jews and Christians any sex outside of marriage was completely, totally unthinkable. We don’t need the specific verses that address the topic that I referenced above to make this point. To all first century Jews and Christians the Old Testament was their Scripture, and we see there that one of the most important things that differentiated Jews from Pagans was their view of sex. For pagans, sex was inextricably bound up with their religion. Temple prostitutes, of both sexes, were common in their lands, and commonly utilized. Excavated ruins in Pompeii and Herculaneum in Italy show many graphic displays of nudity and sexual activity, including every imaginable perversity (it’s pornographic). Jews would have been horrified by such displays, and were.
In contrast, first century Jews and Christians who took their Scripture seriously would have agreed with Jesus’ answer when asked about divorce:
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?”
So for all these reasons and many more, no, Christian young people, sex outside of marriage is NOT okay!
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